Want to know which slots rock?

You’ve come to the right place.

When I was hitting the big Casinos back in the 70s and 80s it was a very different business to the way it is these days. I grabbed myself a steak sandwich, a bottle of Bud to wash it down, had my big roll of quarters and sat down on that stool to play my favourite slot. 

Well, things sure have changed since then. For starters, you can’t get a decent steak sandwich in most Casinos these days. It’s all low-carb this, gluten-free bread and low-fat mustard on the steak. Blah blah blah. Can you imagine that? Elvis ‘The King’ asking for a steak sandwich and being told it’s under 150 calories? The King would be turning in his royal grave!

But let’s not dwell on the food too much. These days slots come in all shapes and sizes and gone are the days when it was just pressing a button and hoping you got three of those Bar symbols.

These days casino slots aren’t too different to those video slots that the young kids play on those Nintendo, X-Box and Playstation console things.

They have all these special graphics, cool audio effects and a load of bonus feature rounds that make playing those slots similar to going to a movie. Yep folks, that’s the level of entertainment you can expect these days.

Some slots have even become household names. I went to a slots convention last week where people were talking about the likes of Starburst, Gonzo’s Quest, Dead or Alive, Immortal Romance, Red Riding Hood and Jack Hammer in the same breath as they discussed ‘The Godfather’, ‘The Usual Suspects’ and ‘Titanic.’ But I get it. Playing slots these days isn’t just about pressing the button and spinning the reels. It’s about a rollercoaster filled with emotions and excitement that makes the Superbowl seem like a mundane Sunday afternoon.

Nowadays you’ve got slots based on cartoons, on TV shows, movies and sometimes on some of the best bands out there…Guns N’ Roses, Motorhead, even those face paint-loving boys who call themselves Kiss.

I loved that movie ‘Scarface’ with that Cuban boy who took a little bit too much of that white powder stuff and went a little bit crazy with one of those machine guns. Now you’ve got a slot machine based on the movie. 

Same with Bridesmaids. I went on a date with a chick who loved that Bridesmaids movie. It wasn’t my cup of Ice Tea but a few months later the slot machine version of it came out and it was as much fun as a Karaoke bar when the hen party came into town. All in all, Hollywood isn’t just present in our local cinema theatre anymore. It’s bang in the middle of the best online casinos, just like a big slice of gherkin is at the heart of a any self-respecting burger. 

And here on my site I’ll tell you which slots rock the boat and which slots rot the boat. I’ll tell how good the graphics are, how tasty the bonus features are, what sort of RTP (Return to Player) you can look forward to and how much you’ll enjoy playing each one.

After all, this is the entertainment business. So if you’re not having fun then something isn’t doing their job right.